What right does a politician have to tell me what I can and cannot watch? Change the channel if you don't like what's on TV!

When I did Comic Relief, I did it to be on the show; it's a badge of honor as a comedian to do that show.

Even when people are rich and successful on TV shows, there's always some trouble - you have to poke holes in them, throw them out of a job, put a pie in the face.

Learn how to set goals. That's the key to everything. That includes designing your own success. You define what the goal is, it's not somebody else's goal, it's yours.

Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called everybody, and they meet at the bar.

I'm a big believer in overcoming and achieving and doing things and not feeling sorry for yourself.

I love the normalcy of Cleveland. There's regular people there.

There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it.

You say tomato, I say bourbon and coke.

Things don't make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that's something everyone can do.

Liquor prohibition led to the rise of organized crime in America, and drug prohibition has led to the rise of the gang problems we have now.

In a myriad of ways you tell one truth.

We write to shed our sorrows and give strength to our spirit.

All topics should be studied through the lens of the Gospel.

India has many customs and rituals that may seem bizarre to anyone not used to its distinctive culture. It is a strange combination of being a young nation as well as an ancient country.

It's never boring in makeup.

Men, like bullets, go farthest when they are smoothest.

People want to see a movie that casts a mature woman across from a mature man.

May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground.

People think I'm educated because I talk and write well, but the fact is I never finished high school. I've read a lot, is all.

Necessity when threatening is more powerful than device of man.