What's good for General Bullmoose is good for the U.S.A.!

Like all New York hotel lady cashiers she had red hair and had been disappointed in her first husband.

Abstract art: a product of the untalented sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.

There are certain books in the world which every searcher for truth must know: the Bible, the Critique of Pure Reason, the Origin of Species, and Karl Marx's Capital.

Any place that anyone can learn something useful from someone with experience is an educational institution.

Success is following the pattern of life one enjoys most.

The secret of how to live without resentment or embarrassment in a world in which I was different from everyone else. was to be indifferent to that difference.

The public is like a piano. You just have to know what keys to poke.

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.

My work is being destroyed almost as soon as it is printed. One day it is being read; the next day someone's wrapping fish in it.

Young people should be helped, sheltered, ignored, and clubbed of necessary.

Society my dear is like salt water good to swim in but hard to swallow.

God is not counting our sins against us because He is counting our sins against Christ.

It happened fast. Thirty-two minutes for one world to die, another to be born.

Hollywood-a place where the inmates are in charge of the asylum.

I used to have an afro like Will Ferrell in Semi-Pro. It was bleached blond from the sun. I was tall and awkward. I was not cool.

Rich Christiansen is one of the most insightful, practical and cost-conscious entrepreneurs in the world today. Listen to Rich. He won't steer you wrong.

Ignore the conventional wisdom. If everybody else is doing it one way, there’s a good chance you can find your niche by going in exactly the opposite direction.

Often the wicked prosper, while the righteous starve; yet I would never exchange my state for theirs, my virtue for their gold. For mine endures, while riches change their owner every day.

The things that make me cry are when the people I love have gone through pain and I’ve seen it.

I kinda always wanted to be an ant.