What's it called when a hellhole hits a cataclysm? A catastro[phrack]. I just coined that, didn't I?

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

The paradox of education is that any man only educated by others is an uneducated man without self-education you cannot be educated one in strict sense of this term.

State can become threat to individual life, cause of individual liberty.

Oh,Elizabeth, your justice would freeze beer.

The bad are frequently good enough to let you see how bad they are, but the good as frequently endeavor to get between you and themselves.

The various religions are like different roads converging on the same point. What difference does it make if we follow different routes, provided we arrive at the same destination?

I seemed to recall some words from an old Zen master, something like, "My Zen cuts down mountains." My rejection of Buddhism was a cutting down of mountains; that is precisely how it felt to me.

I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.

The cure for admiring the House of Lords is to go and look at it.

Become aware that there are no accidents in our intelligent universe. Realize that everything that shows up in your life has something to teach you. Appreciate everyone and everything in your life.