What's the difference between a Dice Clay concert and a Klan rally? Nothing. Trick question.

I lost my job, well I didn't lose it, I know where it is, there's just some other guy doing it now.

Go on, try weasel, try squirrel; it tastes like chicken, it tastes just like chicken! If it tastes just like chicken, why don't you gimme some damn chicken?

Animals may be our friends, but they won't pick you up at the airport.

Quit everything until you find something that you just cannot quit.

America’s one of the finest countries anyone ever stole.

Well, I'm an uncle now ... don't know if I'm a good one. My nephew asked me the difference between a hamster and a gerbil and I told him I thought there was more dark meat on a gerbil.

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.

When I was a baby I had no teeth. I couldn't get a job and I couldn't eat meat.

I retired from acting the same time they stopped hiring me. But following my own thing of making these small indie movies has been the happiest I've ever been.

How can you be a vegetarian atheist and own a gun? Well, that's who I am.

I believe you have to keep the theological standard high; the Lord said, 'Be perfect,' and the leaders have to be striving for that standard with all there is in them.

Be very strong... be very methodical in your life if you want to be a champion.

Everyone is having a harder time than it appears.

Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That's just common sense!

I may not be the lithest, the most talented, or have the fastest time in the field, but I have passion and courage, and sometimes that is enough to do something extraordinary.

I'm afraid a boat so small would sink with the weight of all my sorrow.

I am an apolitical Prime Minister. Apart from elections, I don't get involved into politics ever.

The first step toward telling the truth is to tell the whole lie.

Creating something that is universally beautiful. That is art.

Artists see the world in a very different way than everyone else, and it's important when the artist points a lens at the law.