What war has always been is a puberty ceremony.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

It's hard to get motivated fixing a compile-time syntax error when you can buy a powder that turns a house into a monster.

Men like cars women like clothes. Women only like cars because they take them to clothes.

If you have learned how to disagree without being disagreeable, then you have discovered the secrete of getting along - whether it be business, family relations, or life itself.

Age is not important unless you're a cheese.

I think that maybe that's my weakness, in that I don't know how to do it, so I just do what I do and try to do it as passionately and as well as I can.

The only thing that would make her jealous would be if I led a parade riding a unicorn while ballerinas sang love songs.

The hardest-working people don't work hard because they're disciplined. They work hard because working on an exciting problem is fun.

It calls Devotion! genuine growth of night! Devotion! Daughter of Astronomy! An undevout astronomer is mad!

Quarterbacks need to make their team better. If it's a bad team, they can even make a bad team better.

She felt as if she were brimming, always producing and hoarding more love inside her. But there was no release.