What we do as a society is seek simple answers.

The functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.

The whisper of the dusk is night shedding its husk.

Where there is cake, there is hope. And there is always cake.

Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.

Nothing is worse than being alone on the evening of the day when one's cow has exploded.

Only once in a generation does anything as fresh as a vomiting detective come along.

The hands of every clock are shears, trimming us away scrap by scrap, and every time piece with a digital readout blinks us towards implosion.

Most people tend to think the best of those who are blessed with beauty; we have difficulty imagining that physical perfection can conceal twisted emotions or a damaged mind.

Any drunk who has tried to put his car where a lamppost stands is a self-educated physicist.

Given my heritage and the ordeal of my childhood, I sometimes wonder why I myself am not insane. Maybe I am.

It's better to have a bad plan then no plan at all.

The concept of loyalty is distorted when it is understood to mean blind acceptance. It is correctly interpreted when it is assumed to cover honest criticism.

How softly summer shuts, without the creaking of a door.

Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.

Being able to fantasize for a couple of days at being a rock singer surpassed most things I've done on stage.

A people without a heritage are easily persuaded.

Everything you think about yourself, everything you believe about yourself, is because you learned it.

I have jokes I've told before and will tell again, but my favorite part of the night is talking to the crowd.

The greatest thing my dad taught me came from when I called him from a phone booth and said, 'Hungry. No bus token. Please. Out of options.' He said, 'Pfft, get a job.

Forget the known, don't be all the time immersed in your experiences.