What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

You make name for yourself when you overcome pain, weakness, laziness and ignorance

I told you, you're my black pearl. When i first set eyes on you in the servant's hall I thought you were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life.

Propensities and principles must be reconciled by some means.

You want to save more fish? Eat more broccoli.

The most serious problem facing humankind is climate change.

What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.

I've always wanted to write about a "haunted" film, something imbued with a malign, potentially fatal attraction, an image which poisons everyone who's unfortunate enough to view it.

I linger on the flathouse roof, the moonlight is divine. But my heart is all aflutter like the washing on the line.

Soap, gloves, isolating patients, not reusing needles and quarantining the contacts of the ill - in theory it should be very easy to contain Ebola

No matter how old you become, I'll always hold your hand tenderly. just like how I held it on the day that you were born. I love you, son.