What would be a road hazard anywhere else, in the Third World is probably the road.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Real ballplayers pass the stuffing by rolling it up in a ball and batting it across the table with a turkey leg.

Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better.

I liked the humor of it, I've always enjoyed a sense of humor in God and in religion and in spirituality

I do suffer from depression, I suppose. Which isn't that unusual. You know, a lot of people do.

It is a difficult matter to keep love imprisoned.

You gotta love yourself, because when you're hurting - you never know who's gonna be around to do the lovin' for ya. You gotta love yourself through the pain.

Ideal society is a drama enacted exclusively in the imagination.

The unfortunate do not pity the unfortunate.

I can play characters who sing, but I don't like singing in a nightclub or something. It's not my metier.

Each man has his own vocation; his talent is his call. There is one direction in which all space is open to him.