What you discover about life’s shell game is that it’s hardest to follow the pea when you’re the pea.

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.

Cherish the friend who tells you a harsh truth, wanting ten times more to tell you a loving lie.

You can spend too much time wondering which of identical twins is the more alike.

What greater blessing to give thanks for at a family gathering than the family and the gathering.

Ever wonder what crime you committed that you are confined to a small enclosure above your sinuses, under permanent skull arrest?

If minutes were kept of a family gathering, they would show that "Members not Present" and "Subjects Discussed" were one and the same.

It finally happened. I got the GPS lady so confused, she said, "In one-quarter mile, make a legal stop and ask directions.

For the most part, we carnivores do not eat other carnivores. We prefer to eat our vegetarian friends.

On a windswept hill by a billowing sea, my destiny sits and waits for me.

It is not that love is blind. It is that love sees with a painter's eye, finding the essence that renders all else background.

The race of man, while sheep in credulity, are wolves for conformity.

When I talk of the purpose of life, I am thinking not only of human life, but of all life on Earth and of the life which must exist upon other planets throughout the universe.

Happiness in the present is only shattered by comparison with the past.[only if the past was better...if it was worse then you feel good that life is getting better]

After all, you can't expect men not to judge by appearances.

In difficult times, fashion is always outrageous.

Let's face it, the great comedians now that are handicapped in the looks department are tremendous writers.

Life is more a matter of choosing than knowing. He could never know the eventual destination of his path, but he could always choose in which direction to take each step.

I mean, I'm obviously not one of those people who's so beautiful women take their clothes off when I walk into the room. I didn't become a star overnight.

Hatred and sorrow are power. They are yours to control. All you have to do is turn them into strength, and use that strength to move forward.

My job as an artist, as I see it, is to understand and in some cases to take on various ways of thinking about people and the world that are different from my own, sometimes radically different.