What you see on stage is pretty much the way I am... a dry sense of humor.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

The sun consumes even itself to give light to a dark world

If we preach God, it means we preach light. Consequently we preach freedom from ignorance.

All philosophy in two words - sustain and abstain.

Conscience is a treacherous thing and mine behaves badly whenever there is a serious danger of being found out.

A people of scholars, if they are physically degenerate, weak-willed and cowardly pacifists, will not storm the heavens, indeed, they will not be able to safeguard their existence on this earth.

President Bush should be indicted and should be driven out of office. He should be sent back home in Texas.

I have always loved reading. Ever since I was a young girl I had a book by my bed and would get lost in the world of make believe.

Complacency is the enemy of study.

Death is not complete annihilation. It is a pause. It is like pressing the pause button on a tape recorder.

Enlightenment! When it comes, it comes like a brick to the head, doesn't it?