Whatever it took to get elected president of the United States, I don't think being a complete and utter moron is one of those predicates.

The only reason people lock their car doors when Obama walks by is they are afraid he'll tax them to death...

Sometimes the way you respond to horrific, evil deeds is the measure of one's self as a man, as a nation, as people, as a community.

I'm absolutely gonna win it, because I'm ruthless. I sit at the poker table and my job is to destroy people.

...simple logic tells you that if somebody wants you dead you have one course of action: To get them deader sooner.

Just curious. Does the president of the United States have any advice for other teenage boys in America? Wounded warriors, for example . . .

It is okay to fall, but not okay to stay on the ground.

The whole world has gone back to something we are genetically engineered to do - communicating through symbols.

No matter what it is, if you get 10 people in the business talking about something, you get 10 different opinions, but you know, they're amazingly well informed.

Look, just go sit at the card table with the rest of the kids and let the adults run the country.

The lifeblood of my career has been independent film.

Ill usage makes the sweetest of us vicious.

A MOTTO OF THE HUMAN RACETell me what to do

Life is bigger than cinema. Cinema is just a part of life, so I never take success or failure seriously.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

The single most exciting thing you encounter in government is competence, because it's so rare.

The Law of Concentration states that whatever you dwell upon, grows. The more you think about something, the more it becomes part of your reality.

I didn’t know that it was going to launch a quote-unquote comedic career. I just wanted to do anything other than wait tables.

Politics is not bean bags. It's serious, tough stuff.

I'm short, I'm Jewish and I'm a liberal

Now let's repeat the non-conformists' oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!