Whatever you do kid, always serve it with a little dressing.

Ladies and gentlemen, my mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you!

Ev'ry heart beats true 'neath the Red, White and Blue

I don't care what you say about me, as long as you say something about me, and as long as you spell my name right.

Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.

As a composer I could never find use for over 4 or 5 notes in any musical number, and as a playwright most of my plays have two acts because i couldn't think of an idea for the third act.

Don't tell 'em - SHOW 'em!

I can write better plays than any living danced, and dance better than any living playwright.

I don't care what they call me as long as they mention my name.

Hurried and worried until we're buried and there's no curtain call Life's a very funny proposition after all.

Here, are the stiffening hills, here, the rich cargoCongealed in the dark arteries, Old veinsThat hold Glamorgan's blood.The midnight miner in the secret seams, Limb, life, and

Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.

Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.

My clothes are predominately black and my home is predominantly white.

It's interesting, gender versus race. I think people say that to women more: 'Oh, you're my favorite female.' They wouldn't say 'favorite black comic.'

People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction.

It used to be said of a man who had suffered a catastrophic setback in his line of work that he had been handed his head on a platter. We are being handed our heads with tweezers now.

This message (that attempting to beat the market is futile) can never be sold on Wall Street because it is in effect telling stock analysts to drop dead.

No issue can be negotiated unless you first have the clout to compel negotiation.

We must live in all kinds of days, both high days and low days, in simple dependence upon Christ as the branch on the vine. This is the supreme experience