When George Bush finally leaves the White House, the satire industry will briefly join the rest of the economy in recession. It will certainly be the end of an era.

Multimedia? As far as I'm concerned, it's reading with the radio on!

Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee.

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical comedian.

It is almost impossible to say the name of Thai prime minister Yingluck Shinawat without adding 'give a dog a bone'

When you consider what Tony Blair was saying about liberty, human rights and that sort of thing, it would be terribly revolutionary to sell the speeches he and Jack Straw made in 1994.

I had an Edinburgh, middle-class childhood and a public school education.

Now I'm instantly nervous about the demands of doing a weekly column.

I am just fascinated by this reassurance from a menacing figure. It is rather frightening.

Tony Blair has always said he will be judged by history. Now Alastair Campbell is history we await his judgment.

I used to do my Nelson Mandela voice to blag restaurant tables in Cape Town. It rarely worked. Now what a great city that is.

There is no good day or a bad day, but our perception makes it so.

I think we can all use a little more patience. I get a little impatient sometimes and I wish I didn't. I really need to be more patient.

I really lack the words to compliment myself today.

I don't have a ton of friends, but the friends I have are great ones. I don't have huge family, but the family I have is a great one.

Deep down the consciousness of mankind is one. This is a virtual certainty because even in the vacuum matter is one; and if we don't see this, it's because we are blinding ourselves to it.

[Margaret Thatcher] was always talking about what the prudent housewife should do and what the prudent housewife knew.

To me, punk is about being an individual and going against the grain and standing up and saying 'This is who I am'.

The IRS'll never sweat me or even put up a fight... Cause I'm sure I've paid more in taxes than you've made in yo' life!

Leave off that excessive desire of knowing; therein is found much distraction. There are many things the knowledge of which is of little or no profit to the soul.

My daughter is my greatest inspiration.