When I am holding a water balloon, so many things look so unnecessarily dry.

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.

I wear dark sunglasses when I want my head to look more like a limousine.

The clothes make the man. The children working in sweatshops make the clothes. Therefore, the children working in sweatshops make the man.

A lot of people like lollipops. I don't like lollipops. To me, a lollipop is hard candy plus garbage. I don't need a handle. Just give me the candy.

Earrings are the same as sneezes: Two is okay, but ten in a row is annoying. If you have two then, God bless you.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.

A drunk driver is very dangerous. So is a drunk backseat driver if he's persuasive.

When you have a fat friend there are no see-saws, only catapults.

There's so much love in this world.

Let kindness be the flower of your heart and fragrance of your mind. Let it fill the world with peace, joy and the fragrance of kindness.

I shall be obliged to wander to the right and to the left, that I may investigate and discover the truth.

It's much harder to be an in-house person than an outside person.

The dreamer dies, but never dies the dream

Just what we need," moaned Holly. "Artemis Fowl with magical powers.

We have got to lose the primary in order to win the general.

We're very focused in on outcomes for government with respect to the amount of tax that goes in and the amount of expenditures that go out.

I've seen whales calving in the waters off Maui, and I've watched my children being born. But music is the most beautiful thing of all.