When I came out to L. A., I got a part in an episode of 'Star Trek: Voyager,' and I hired an acting coach.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

He who is a firstling is ever sacrificed.

Our choices are going to determine the future for our children, our children's children, and their children. I take that responsibility very seriously.

People in their natural state are basically good. But this natural innocence,however, is corrupted by the evils of society.

The reason that the American Navy does so well in wartime, is that war is chaos, and the Americans practice chaos on a daily basis.

In fact, I think 500 years from now, the two Americans so far who will be remembered are George Washington and Neil Armstrong, who, amazingly hasn't been paid very much attention.

I was lucky enough to be a "type." Sort of a bad-guy type at the time, because I was tall and I had dark eyes. A lot of times, you don't have to be good; you just have to be the right type.

Every present occasion will catch the senses of the vain man; and with that bridle and saddle you may ride him.

Your karma should be good, and everything else will follow. Your good karma will always win over your bad luck.

The eye and brain are not like a fax machine, nor are there little people looking at the images coming in.