When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Negotation is a point of interection of common interest.

It’s amazing how my mind opens up right when I have to run on the treadmill. I’ve finished three chapters rather than run a mile.

You can't have a United States if you are telling some folks that they can't get on the train. There is a cracking point where a society collapses.

The nature of human beings is such that we tend not to drift into better behaviors. We usually have to be asked by someone to consider taking it up a level.

Poetry is another space, like love, where we extend that extra credit to the writer.

True honor is an outflow from a heart that fears God.

We're the weirdest monkeys ever.

Every thought creates form on some level and all that our physical experience is - is a reflection of our thoughts.

Whenever you want to produce something, do not depend upon the outside source: go deep and seek the Infinite Source.

A good man complains of no one; he does not look to faults.