When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was.

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.

I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself "well, that's not going to happen

I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.

Shame internalized can lead to agony. Whereas shame let out can lead to freedom, or at least a funny story, which is a sort of freedom too.

Men were springing up, a black avenging host was slowly germinating in the furrows, thrusting upward for the harvests of future ages. And very soon their germination would crack the earth asunder.

I think when kids just see well-crafted poetry, it's just obtuse to them. It's hard to relate to.

To be a fool at the right time is also an art.

If we do not roll up our sleeves to the task of the Gospel in our days, then we will amount to virtually nothing for God.

I think continuity is a good thing. But change is sometimes good, too.

Weep now, but tomorrow be strong. Remember who we are and that whatever else is taken from us, they will never strip our honour and our pride.

We are all culpable in the death of Christ. My sins, your sins put Him on that cross.

The regional voice is the universal voice.

If you're listening Big Brother, I refuse to be Fanny Price.