When I first started on Twitter, a relative asked, 'Aren't you concerned with giving away your jokes?' I don't think of it that way. That's my content, and that's what I do.

Cabaret is a great format. All you have to do is sing and be funny sporadically.

Fear can be the result of admiration, or it can be a symptom of contempt.

I'm not big on regret - until time travel actually exists, it seems like a waste of making yourself feel bad

Do you think trees are the new birds? Don’t answer that right away.

I consider Greeks the Jews of the sea.

I’m really afraid of spiders and my own feelings.

Having one of your like dumb sort of stream of consciousness tweets used against you on a right wing website is the ultimate compliment.

Is it a different New York since Lou Reed died? It’s been a different New York since I saw him in his sweatpants at the Cozy Soup ‘n’ Burger.

Podcasts themselves cannot exist without the Internet - in a way they are a microcosm of the Internet.

If the Cowardly Lion were on RuPaul’s Drag Race, so much of my childhood would be less nightmarish.

Let go of all the negative thoughts. Fill your mind with positive thoughts.

I acknowledge that the kingdom of God is with me

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

No man has the right to say to his country

Envying another's beauty will diminish your own. But when you praise beauty in others your own beauty deepens.

I hope that the truth shall eventually give me back my freedom.

When I go back into education, I'm going to do business studies.

I feel I should try to reveal. When you hit it right, you produce an emotional response in the listener that can be cathartic. When you're wrong, you're soppy, sentimental.

I realized that even if we went on talking till Judgment Day, I would still find the time all too short.

A man without imagination is like a bird without wings.