When I first went to Vegas, there were just high-rollers and gamblers and the wise guys treated you great.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Feel The Love in Friendship

A few slave holders were undeniably cruel. Examples of slaves beaten to death were not common, neither were they unknown. The majority of slave holders treated their slaves well.

The best way to keep your daughter out of hot water is to put some dishes in it.

Growing up in Canada, most kids from Canada dream of playing in the NHL, and they also hope one day to be on a Stanley Cup team. That was a big goal.

I'm horrified of lobsters. And shrimp and lobsters are the cockroaches of the ocean.

The cheapest, fastest, and most reliable components are those that aren't there.

I always tweet about where we're at. Since I'm performing at amphitheaters, I'll try to run up and down the stairs and across the field.

I always laugh to myself when I listen to some really big A-list star saying that they are just a normal person.

Love is fearless in the midst of the sea of fear.

Republics exist only on the tenure of being constantly agitated.... There is no republican road to safety but in constant distrust.