When I found out I could write I was shocked! I didn't know I could write.

A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.

The absolute truth is the thing that makes people laugh.

Inviting people to laugh with you while you are laughing at yourself is a good thing to do. You may be a fool but you're the fool in charge.

I am an atheist. I have a very different take on who God is. Man invented God because he needed him. God is us.

Give yourself an impossible task and solve it - then you've got a really good story.

A fellow who has a funny bone can learn to hone his skills, but I don't think you can develop a funny bone - you either have it or you don't. And by the way - when you get it, we don't know it.

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Life is most important.

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important.

Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks.

Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.

Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves...

Every thought you cultivate is a brushstroke on the canvas of your life. Your life then, is an outer picture of your inner thoughts.

My tattoos, like most people's, were reminders, badges of personal experiences. Yes, I might wear them on my skin for the world to see, but their meaning was a little too personal.

Forever thine, forever mine.

Loving-kindness challenges those states that tend to arise when we think of ourselves as isolated from everyone else—fear, a sense of deficiency, alienation, loneliness.

Few love to hear the sins they love to act.

I definitely care about what I look like, certainly when I am going out in public, doing an appearance or something, but when I'm home, I'm all sweatpants, all the time.

Cause there's only one reason for doing anything that you set out to do. If you don't want to be the best, then there's no reason going out and trying to accomplish anything.

The trick to playing second fiddle is to play it like second Stradivarius.