When I get up in the morning, I have to decide what I'm going to have for dinner or I can't get through the day.

Ed Sullivan brought me to TV first in 1952, then Garry Moore's program gave me a lot of confidence and freedom.

Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.

If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books.

Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.

I made it, Ma - Carnegie Hall. And I didn't have to practice.

A summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat!

You know you are getting old when people tell you how good you look.

Banks have a new image. Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker. If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?

If you stop and think about it, nearly all great humor is at the expense of someone or something.

My father helped me leave. He said, 'It's all out there, it's not here.'

That's what "meaning" is—a special additive like salt or garlic that could make even the most fetid piece of meat seem palpable, even delicious.

Live out your life in truth and justice, tolerant of those who are neither true nor just.

A hard life improves the vision.

I love my fans very much. They give me the confidence to continue things in life.

My parents couldn't afford a full time drama school, but I basically just did every class I could do, and followed every drama interest I could. When I was 15 or 16 I did drama courses.

When you help others feel important, you help yourself feel important too.

To be the best you have to work overtime.

The applause is a celebration not only of the actors but also of the audience. It constitutes a shared moment of delight.

Segregation is that which is forced upon an inferior by a superior. Separation is done voluntarily by two equals.

only to people!' shouted Rincewind. He drew his sword and, with a smooth overarm throw, completely failed to hit the troll.