When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

The way he’s watching me makes me feel needed like no one’s ever been able to make me feel. In a way, he makes me feel necessary. Like my existence alone is necessary for his survival.

Multi-tasking is stressful.You will get things donemuch faster if you do themone at a time.

You know, artists don't really have all that much experience of life. We make a huge amount out of the small experience that we do have.

I find it funny how people from Boston and New York hate each other because of pro teams. But, like, everyone on the Red Sox is a random millionaire athlete from somewhere else.

The humility that cringes in order that reproof may be escaped or favor obtained is as unchristian as it is profoundly immoral.

So easy, when you know how.

My investment strategy, which is to focus on sectors that are a national priority for India, hasn't changed.

The illogical man is what advertising is after. This is why advertising is so anti-rational; this is why it aims at uprooting not only the rationality of man but his common sense.

Suddenly it was gone. I'd lost more than my voice and my career. I'd lost my best friend.

Movement is a fantastic privilege but it ultimately only has meaning if you have a home to go back to.