When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it.

Velcro: what a rip-off.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I said: I can't make Tuesdays.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

The perfect orchestration of the symphony of life is one of the Creator's greatest and most beautiful miracles.

All humans are born with raw creativity ability, but not all creativities are created equal.

Being an actor is the loneliest thing in the world. You are all alone with your concentration and imagination, and that's all you have.

No money on earth can buy the love and affection that has been given to me by a grateful nation.

I can type faster than I can point. And my mother told me that pointing is impolite.

Meteorology has ever been an apple of contention, as if the violent commotions of the atmosphere induced a sympathetic effect on the minds of those who have attempted to study them.

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

Film is my first love. It wasn't something I intended to fall in love with, but I grew to love it.

I have a sense of greatness, which comes from feeling that I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing on the planet - empowering people, especially women.

Whosoever in writing a modern history shall follow the truth too near the heels it may haply strike out his teeth.