When I'm doing an appearance somewhere and taking questions from the audience, I can always count on: 'Tell about the guy who died on your show!'

There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?

If your parents never had children, chances are... neither will you.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

It's a rare person who wants to hear what he doesn't want to hear.

I don't see the future as bright, language-wise. I see it as a glass half empty - and evaporating quickly.

I eat at this German-Chinese restaurant and the food is delicious. The only problem is that an hour later you're hungry for power.

I don't feel old. I feel like a young man that has something wrong with him.

Obviously those who burn to be professional jesters mean that they want to be successful comedians. And those are always an elite, microscopic portion of the population. But oh, how they try.

My IQ is somewhere between Spiro Agnew's and Albert Einstein's.

Well, it turns out a hero's lot is not glory or reward, but sacrifice.

My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.

I've noticed it a lot. I'm not someone who revises. It's always the first movement, it's that. It's an instinct. Either it works straight away, or it won't ever work.

It seems that most people need to experience a great deal of suffering before they will relinquish resistance and accept - before they will forgive.

The folly of men not their hard heartedness was the great cause of the world s poverty.

Creativity is the crucial variable in the process of turning knowledge into value

There is real confusion about what it means to be right and wrong - the difference between what spiritual beliefs are and what science is.

Sometimes you must leave everything and refresh yourself in the silence of a misty lake! Every such refreshment will give you an opportunity to make a long jump on the way to your target!

My power is discombobulatingly devastating.

You have to always remember to be yourself.