When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is.

I'm very loyal in a relationship. Any relationship. When I go out with my mom, I don't look at other moms and go, "I wonder what her macaroni and cheese tastes like."

My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.

They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style.

Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead.

I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate.

Women need to know that not all guys are going to hurt them the way that the guy did before they started dating me. I know guys I wouldn't go out with.

I'm dating a homeless woman. It was easier talking her into staying over.

I'm very loyal in relationships. Even when I go out with my mom I don't look at other moms.

Fear comes from the lack of knowledge and a state of ignorance. The best remedy for fear is to gain knowledge.

The failure of a person is wrapped in his ignorance about his strengths.

It's a marriage. If I had to choose between my wife and my putter, well, I'd miss her.

When you're young you don't know anything, but you have lot of energy to express yourself. So you make a lot of mistakes and you stumble, but you also get a lot of truth from within.

You don't come into cooking to get rich.

I guess a lot of bands play around until they come up with something they like.

Talking jaw is better than going to war.

Those who boast about being "brutally honest" are usually more brutal than honest.

The aim of forensic oratory is to teach, to delight, to move.

Each successive Labour Government has been the most rapacious, doctrinaire and unpatriotic conspiracy to be seen this side of the Iron Curtain.