When I'm on stage, that's me. It's blown up, but that's me.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

The world is waiting for us to graduate from ourselves.

If love is the greatest gift of all-and I believe it is- then the greatest privilege of all is to be able to love someone.

It's good that it hurts. Pain is the signal that you're confused, that you're in a lie.

As the war on terrorism spreads and prolongs, the fruits of ending the threat of terrorism around the world will be tempered with a whole new series of problems to be addressed and resolved.

Isn't it awful that cold feet make for a cold imagination and that a pair of woollen socks induce good thoughts!

You invest yourself in what you believe can succeed.

I've lived in good climate, and it bores the hell out of me. I like weather rather than climate.

I would say I spend about an hour a day cleansing and moisturising after all of the make-up I've worn on jobs, and on weekends I tend to go bare-faced to give my skin a bit of a break.

So there I was, with the two hottest girls on campus, having lunch. I was "the man", the envy of every other guy in our school. Buddy, I was miserable." -Bryce Loski

To love anything good, at any cost, is a bargain.