When I pass my name in such large letters I blush but at the same time instinctively raise my hat.

I was born old and get younger every day. At present I am sixty years young.

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

People are too apt to treat God as if he were a minor royalty.

Cynicism is the humor of hatred.

He is an old bore. Even the grave yawns for him.

God is a sort of burglar. As a young man you knock him down; as an old man you try to conciliate him, because he may knock you down.

The only man who wasn't spoilt by being lionized was Daniel.

A man never knows what a fool he is until he hears himself imitated by one.

I'll have that one, please.

A committee should consist of three men, two of whom are absent.

The only way to help someone is when you know they cannot return you back.Anything else is just business.

The poor are not a problem but rather an opportunity to show unconditional love.

when you obey the rules, the rules obey you

Intellectual men who quickly wolf down whatever nourishment is necessary for their bodies with a kind of disdain, may be very rational and have a noble intelligence, but they are not men of taste.

The earth without art is just eh.

I take my part in the food chain very seriously.

You cannot impart what you do not possess.

If you really dig a chick, you should talk to her, not steal her picture.

Truly, thoughts are things, and their scope of operation is the world itself.

Our tax plan by the way shows the vast, vast majority of Americans, upwards of 96 percent can fill out their taxes on a postcard.