When I say 'friends, ' I use that term loosely, as I don't actually have any.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

Failure leads to a decrease in motivation only when it is accepted as failure. Failure leads students to improve when they see it is a stepping stone on the road to success.

Until the day I don't breathe, I will create music.

Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else.

You can't be real," Delilah murmurs. "Says who?" I ask. "Did you really think that a story exists only when you're reading it?

Sorrow also fulfills Desire. Example: the Soaps.

You can’t live for God until you learn how to live because of God.

I grew up in Tennessee. We didn't know what Louis Vuitton was. I had to order all my prom outfits out of catalogs.

To understand everything is to hate nothing.

We do yoga to make life more beautiful.. to stop misery from entering our world.

I was bullied every day at school because I carried a briefcase. I could have left it at home. But I thought it looked great! I didn't understand why anyone else didn't think so.