When I see a large group of people, I wonder how many of them will eventually require autopsies.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

No, Harry, you listen, " said Hermione. "We're coming with you. That was decided months ago - years, really.

Everything one invents is true, you may be perfectly sure of that. Poetry is as precise as geometry.

Nothing succeeds like address.

At the age of 12 my ambition was to become a gangster. To be a wiseguy. Being a wiseguy was better than being President of the United States. To be a wiseguy was to own the world.

If we lose a game, I change up what I did that day, like if I eat something that day I will not eat the same thing again the next game day.

I always tell people that my life is in pencil; I have to keep an eraser in my hand because I could always get a call that could change everything.

My mom didn't write, but she loved to read. She liked books 'that made you a little nervous.' Stephen King, Dean Koontz and Peter Straub were the three wise men of our family bookshelf.

As long as I feel like I can win majors and contend, I'll continue to play.

Fleet Foxes will never, ever, under no circumstances, from now until the world chokes on gas fumes, sign to a major label. This includes all subsidiaries or permutations thereunder. Till we die.

Death is the surcease that comes when the exhausting battle has been lost.