When I see the American flag, I go, 'Oh my God, you're insulting me.'

Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.

To me, there is no greater act of courage than being the one who kisses first.

I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half-empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.

Men are allowed to age. Men are allowed to gain weight. Men are allowed to be quirky looking.

It’s mentally exhausting, feeling bad about something you can do nothing about.

Taking into account the public's regrettable lack of taste, it is incumbent upon you not to fit in.

The world would be better off with multiple superpowers. When Communist USSR was a superpower, the world was better off.

This dress exacerbates the genetic betrayal that is my legacy.

I can't wait for the next fad though, and I predict it's going to be Pennsylvania dutch culture, very Amish. It's going to be bonnets and butter churns.

Red flag of the eating disorder: the muffin. Keep your eye on the ladies with the muffins... and sometimes I'll just eat the muffin top.

It’d been a long time since they’d been together, but as close as they were physically, they’d never been so far apart in every other way.

You've just got to trust your instincts and realize that you can't please all the people all the time. You've got to please yourself ultimately in the end.

I don't really do sad, depressing songs.

We like reactions - a reaction is walking out on us, a reaction is throwing tomatoes at the stage, that's a healthy psychological reaction.

My role models are Bettie Page and Mia Kirshner. Every day when Mia comes to work she raises the bar for us all.

You can't receive forgiveness unless you let God deal with your deceit.

Ain't singing for Pepsi, ain't singing for Coke, I don't sing for nobody, makes me look like a joke.

Anger turns the mind out of doors and bolts the entrance.

I think part of the problem sometimes is that there's so much happening in my books, to whittle it down into a single script is hard.

Alliances and partnerships produce stability when they reflect realities and interests.