When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, 'I want to help you get teeth.' Why does that make me an a**hole?

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Whatever thought or belief that cannot produce happiness or growth in your life, doesn't belong in your mind.

Ian cleared his throat. "Lady Elizabeth." He reached behind him and handed her a single red rose. "A rose... for the bonniest lass who ever graced the Highlands.

I grew up pretty much prevented from knowing anything from Communist China except that they were the bad guys that stole our country.

The thing which makes one man greater than another, the quality by which we ought to measure greatness, is a man's capacity for loving.

One step at a time, I get to make positive choices to fulfill my dreams.

in politics as in life, what is known is not necessarily what is believed, what is shown is not necessarily what is seen, and what is said is not necessarily what is heard.

I wish the children could be taught early on that our thinking creates our experience.

Marriage will not solve "aloneness."

Somebody must always be doing something new, or life would get very dull.

Those to whom defense is not important will have the best seat in the game