When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say, I used everything you gave me.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet.

Someone once threw me a small, brown, hairy kiwi fruit, and I threw a wastebasket over it until it was dead.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.

No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

Never go to your high school reunion pregnant or they will think that is all you have done since you graduated.

Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

Have you ever wonder about the misery of sleep?

The Lord’s gracious hand is upon us.We will begin the good work.

The RemoteI often think about youwhen I’m lying alone inmy room with my mouthopen and the remotelost somewhere in the bed.

When my Yankee career is over I'll play anywhere, but I'm positive that I'll never find a team quite like the Yankees.

Friends are seldom found; they are made.

What is a child, monsieur, but the image of two beings, the fruit of two sentiments spontaneously blended?

I think the lesson's learned are that we have to have to have a strategy to get and a strategy to get out. Which means, that you create a stable situation.

Nobody in America, in the modern generation, has read their mythology or legends.

It is not a torment to be an artist. It is a privilege.

If he really wanted to make it a prayer for peace he should have listened to both sides of the story and reflected reality, rather than serving the Zionist side alone.