When I take my kids out for dinner or lunch, people smile at us.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

Only one who has learned much can fully appreciate his ignorance.

We were proclaiming ourselves political hypocrites before the world, by thus fostering Human Slavery and proclaiming ourselves, at the same time, the sole friends of Human Freedom.

I have always thought of sophistication as rather a feeble substitute for decadence.

So I started chanting when I was nineteen, which was about twelve years ago, and it really had a huge impact on my outlook, happiness, and general creativity.

I don't sell cosmetics, I sell hope.

We are doomed to coexist.

I've learned that to expose yourself, to reveal yourself is a test of your humanness.

The great gift of the human imagination is that it has no limits or ending.

If you stay up, you get the songs that everyone else misses because they're asleep.

There is One great society alone on earth: The noble living and the noble dead.