When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

You can't have everything. Where would you put it?

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, 'Where the hell is my roof?

If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

With dark raven paper and twinkling white ink, I wrote my heart in the night’s sky.

Good and great are seldom in the same man.

Silence is a chameleon that is colored by its surrounding circumstances

My New Year's resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.

America wants solutions. America wants a leader. No more tabloid politics.

Can't living with the bill means it won't become law.

There are two classes of authors: the one write the history of their times, the other their biography.

Being in the hearing world was more of a challenge than being in the Deaf world, because I had to learn how to write and communicate in a way that I hadn't experienced growing up.

I was trying to be very at ease in this arrogant person, and very worldly, but something human came into the part. I hate to say that. I wanted to be totally worldly.

It's cheap, and you have a thinking, breathing bomb that can adjust to circumstances and cross the street to hit another target if the original one doesn't look good.