When I used to gamble, I looked for players with head covers on their irons. Those guys I could beat.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Only fools live in the past or carry envy to the present.

Golf is the most fun you can have with out taking your clothes off.

I read the greens in Spanish, but I putt in English.

Remember you have to be comfortable. Golf is not a life or death situation. It's just a game and should be treated as such. Stay loose.

I never prayed that I would make a putt. I prayed that I would react well if I missed.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.

The mistakes of the past are valuable lessons for the future.

Enjoy your obscurity while it lasts.

I love cold, rainy weather.

Richard Clarke had plenty of opportunities to tell us, in the administration, that he thought the war on terrorism was moving in the wrong direction and he chose not to.

Our attempts to reshape others may produce change, but the change is distortion rather than transformation.

I got treated very badly in Texas. They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. Port Arthur people thought I was a beatnik, though they'd never seen one and neither had I.

I think when 'The Simpsons' first came on, there was an uproar. People got used to it. They realized the show's really funny, it's got a heart, so I think it's pretty safe.

So many people suffer from abuse, and suffer alone.

The best thing to do with water is to use a lot of it.

The same European governments that hesitated to confront terrorists were more than prepared to oppose us.