When I was a kid I got no respect. The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you'll see your kid again."

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

We don't act like that because we are in good humor we are in a good humor because otherwise we should go to pieces.

Not even a book on prosperity can prosper you, when what is expected of you is given, your time won't be wasted.

All of us lost something. Some of us lost everything.

Respect emotion!!!It is always valid.Don't just HEAR but LISTEN not with your demon

I'm proud to be Parisian, proud to be a BANLIEUSARD. Which means a man from the suburbs, from the streets, from the outskirt.

That's the job of the National Security Council is to try to be a disciplined clearinghouse, gathering the views from across multiple agencies, teeing up decisions that make sense for the president.

You never gain something but that you lose something.

My biggest fear in life is to be average.

It is what is painted between the outlines that makes the difference between merely competent painting and really meaningful art.

The meaning resides in one's own experience, making the everyday the exceptional.