When I was a kid, if a guy got killed in a western movie I always wondered who got his horse.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

Experience is not worth the getting. It's not a thing that happens pleasantly to a passive you--it's a wall that an active you runs up against.

I will always love you Drizzt Do'Urden my life was full and without regret because I knew you and was completed by you. Sleep well, my love.

If all else fails immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.

No one can be good for long if goodness is not in demand.

Its so real out here right now, the only reason why you see anything is cuz I got the flash on.

Teaching means to show a person that something is possible.

We don't experience light, color, and gesture in a vacuum. We experience it in contexts.

I have lost my oil and my labor. (Labored in vain.) [Lat., Oleum et operam perdidi.]

Being in The Beatles was a short, incredible period of my life. I had 22 years leading up to it, and it was all over eight years later.

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.