When I was a kid, my parents had a 900-pound television on top of a TV tray. My dad's theory was, 'Let him pull it over his head a few times, he'll learn.'

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't.

You might be a redneck if...your belt buckle weighs more than three pounds.

Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

If your idea of a 7 course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack, you might be a redneck.

You might be a redneck if your grandmother can correctly execute the sleeper hold.

Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door.

You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight.

One of the greatest challenges is not going to the mattresses with someone who criticizes your novel.

When we prepare not our hearts for the things of God, evil things take over.

You would more probably have gone to the guillotine, ' replied Sir Tristram, depressingly matter of

The first piece of music that captured my imagination was probably Ray Charles Live At Newport.

What do I like in a girl? I like a girl that likes me, a girl that knows how to smile and see the bright side of things. A girl that makes me a better person.

Each instance of sexual harassment has to be judged on its merits. Facts, timing, motives, credibility: all must be considered before we make up our own minds what to believe.

There is no debate whether we need a cultural policy or not. We do need it, but there are different ways of doing it.

Love ever your neighbour as yourselves - but first be such as love themselves.

Life isn't all diamonds and rose... but it should be.

I think if I were dying and I heard of an act of injustice, it would start me up to a moment's life again.