When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

As you get connection with the higher source, your creativity increases

Mindful leadership keeps you cool and energetic in any situation, so that you can make the best possible decisions.

Anything really new is repulsive, because it is abnormal and unreasonable.

I didn't go to Harvard or Princeton, but I can count - the defunding box canyon is a tactic that will fail and weaken our position.

I keep everything that is most important to me close to me: my family, my bible, my X-Box - just kidding.

I'm very bad with improvisation. I hate it.

If you have science and art, You also have religion; But if you don't have them, You better have religion.

Moses freed the Jews. Lincoln freed the slaves. I freed the neurotics.

I was not an easy kid.

I despise formal restaurants. I find all of that formality to be very base and vile. I would much rather eat potato chips on the sidewalk.