When I was a nurse I never had much money, and I was still happy then.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

Going to the opera like getting drunk is a sin that carries its own punishment with it and that a very severe one.

Eagles commonly fly alone. They are crows, daws, and starlings that flock together.

I don't think of those things [from farting, to male on male affection, to crossdressing] as being taboo, I suppose, so it didn't strike me as, "Oh, I'm breaking boundaries and stuff..."

I've been a spy for almost all of my adult life - I don't like being in the spotlight.

Everybody comes from the same source. If you hate another human being, you're hating part of yourself.

Do not blindly believe what others say. See for yourself what brings contentment, clarity and peace. That is the path for you to follow.

For what is prayer but the expansion of your self into the living ether?

A man does not entreat for love. It is the irresistible impulse towards each other of two souls, a union in which there is neither conscious giving nor receiving.

Neither in my private life nor in my writings, have I ever made a secret of being an out-and-out unbeliever.

There are no mistakes and it's never boring on the edge of imagination, which is only pure spirit having a bit of fun.