When I was in high school the worst thing you could ever get was VD. Talk about the sniffles! I just want to meet an old-fashioned girl with gonorrhea.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

Maybe being a good parent is about improvisation and spontaneity. Maybe it's about genuinely being with your kid. Sometimes though, it is also about being able to catch sick in yours hands.

Drugs suck more than anything else I have ever liked so much.

Those evening bells! those evening bells! How many a tale their music tells!

NOMINATE, v. To designate for the heaviest political assessment. To put forward a suitable person to incur the mudgobbling and deadcatting of the opposition.

Songwriting requires some sort of ceremony to even get the process started, and it can be somewhat arbitrary.

The arts can do more to sustain the peace than all the wars, the armaments, and the threats and warnings of politicians.

Because when you watch US television, all the presenters and reporters, they're all out of central casting.

I would exchange everything for one child of my own.

Man is never alone. Acknowledged or unacknowledged, that which dreams through him is always there to support him from within.

The desire of glory is the last infirmity cast off even by the wise.