When I was young I used to read about the decline of Western civilization, and I decided it was something I would like to make a contribution to.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

The Universe is very, very big.

But though that place I never gain, Herein lies comfort for my pain: I will be worthy of it.

I caved in to what people wanted me to do. I thought that they weren't going to like me if I didn't.

That's what misbehavior is all about, just a little extra loving being asked for.

This boxer is doing what is expected of him, bleeding from his nose.

I have considered rap music stars, and there is one in my new book, Lovers and Players, and there is also a hip-hop music mogul who I think you will like a lot.

We very quickly forget about the wonderful things we've got. People lose their excitement because there's too much. Basically we're experiencing nothing, because everything is available to us.

Caleb could be so testy for no known reason. At times, it was like dating a woman with irritable bowel syndrome. Or rabies.

The pen is the lever that moves the world.

The great hope, and for the propagating and advancing the gospel of the kingdom of Christ in those remote parts of the world