When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

Both slaves had been oiled until their flesh shined like polished ebony, outlining every detail of their muscles.

Me, feeling. What a concept.

To be known so well by someone is an unimaginable gift. But to be imagined so well by someone is even better.

You don't get to decide your part in the school play, but you do get to decide whether or not you play it well.

The tyrant should take heed to what he doth, Since every victim-carrion turns to use, And drives a chariot, like a god made wroth, Against each piled injustice.

As long as you are trying your very best, there can be no question of failure.

The goal of re-importation is to provide American consumers with access to drugs at the world market price - not the inflated price now paid only by Americans.

If I'm uncomfortable, you'd never know.

Then liberty, like day, Breaks on the soul, and by a flash from Heaven Fires all the faculties with glorious joy.

The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you can see.