When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

There's no such thing as being too Southern.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

Baptists never make love standing up. They're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing.

It's better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.

Flowers are prettiest where they are watered the most.

What monster sleeps in the deep of your story? You need a monster. Without a monster there is no story.

There's nothing you can find - … nothing you can even imagine – that doesn't originate, develop, or exist in relation to other things.

We are never quits with those who oblige us," was Dantes' reply; "for when we do not owe them money, we owe them gratitude.

The greatest fighter I ever saw

The democratic process is supposed to be one person one vote, but it turns out that money is talking louder than the votes.

I think when war becomes your life, I think its very difficult to have the proper perspective to be able to create a fully balanced policy.

It's been a dream for me since I was six years old to go to the Olympic Games and to finally have that dream realised is something massive for me.

Our presidency is a cut above, we all want the president to be the absolutely finest person and best person that we could elect, but even at that, presidents are not supposed to be unapproachable.

Sometimes in Washington you get a little disconnected. I want to make sure I know what people are actually doing each day.