When Paul Brown talked contract, the championship game was part of it. We took the championship game for granted.

Do not throw in the towel; use it for wiping the sweat off your face.

I could throw a pass to a spot as well as anyone who ever lived - But that's a God-given talent. I could never stand back and flick the ball 60 yards downfield with my wrists like Dan Marino does.

Ask yourself is it right or wrong and act accordingly.

All I asked was, where do I sign? Some of the other navy men said I was rooting for the war to last forever. (after Browns gave him a monthly stipend during the war)

If you're authentic, people smile because they sense there's a piece of themselves there.

I don't want to ever be a quote-unquote rock star. I want to just be me.

I'm pretty good at getting over people throwing stuff at me. If you've been doing stand up long enough you know how to swing back and get the laughs.

in the family I grew up in, being called boring was like being called an ax murderer.

I've got a computer, but I won't go near it.

Each of our acts makes a statement as to our purpose.

I don't watch any television, hardly ever because I'm so busy. I always obviously watch my shows because I blog about it and talk about it, but no, I can watch the news in the morning and that's it.

Quote me as much as you like; as a matter of fact I don’t even mind if you misquote me !

I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time.

Never speak of a man in his own presence. It is always indelicate, and may be offensive .