When a girl says, 'I can't believe I'm doing this!' just know that she had it planned from the minute she shaved

Don't sit back and be a bystander of your own life

Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier.

People can be taught to hate. And people can be taught to spell. But apparently, it's one or the other.

If you measure your happiness by the amount of liquid you have in your glass, you are either a cliché or an alcoholic.

Believing there's no such thing as luck is very unlucky. Like, the worst. Beyond stealing someone's lucky four-leaf clover.

People often say that writing is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration. This is nonsense, of course. It's pretty much one hundred percent caffeine.

All of my most significant moments somehow involved music. It's like my life was a John Hughes film and somebody had to put together the perfect soundtrack.

If you have a good date, it's nice to text them afterward to say "thanks." But if they were totally lame, it's fun to text "unsubscribe."

You need a little bit of the crazy to keep things fun.

People make changes in their life, and they blend and assimilate. They find a way to make it work. That's where I've always taken the wrong turn. By not taking a turn at all.

The breath of life is divine grace of God.

How we think shows through in how we act. Attitudes are mirrors of the mind. They reflect thinking.

The more you worry, the more you throw off the delicate balance of hormones required for health.

Two out of every five people on Earth today owe their lives to the higher crop outputs that fertilizer has made possible.

As long as your going to be thinking anyway, think big.

If I had one thing I'd like to lose weight. It's tough because of the way I live.

To me, Hillary [Clinton] looks alright. She looks like the kind of woman I admire. She doesn't seem to have distorted her essential nature.

I had to be my own person and live my own life if I wanted to be happy, and I just did it.

It hurts because it mattered.

As I try to get around with a guitar, a banjo and a suitcase of high heels and dresses, I treasure that little ukulele.