When a husband's story is believed, he begins to suspect his wife.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

Remember no man is really defeated unless he is discouraged.

You may not be happy with your life. All you have to do is to refuse to be unhappy! Because the worst thing is to get used to be unhappy!

All choices are fraught with peril, but inaction is the most perilous of all.

If you want to do something do it!

I don't think comedy is necessarily an attack. It's finding humour in life. I don't think if you're making a joke about something you're automatically demeaning it.

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.

'Troll 2' is one of the rare sequels where you don't have to waste time watching the first one, since the films have absolutely nothing to do with one another.

I'm an artist and that means I can be as egotistical as I want to be.

The secret to peace-of-mind is to not identify with anything other than your true self.

We will never move out of the present and into the future with all God has planned for us if we cling to dwell in the past.