When a man is tired of Ankh-Morpork, he is tired of ankle-deep slurry.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible.

Truth and trust are the means by which civilization holds off barbarism.

We can say that Muad'Dib learned rapidly because his first training was in how to learn. And the first lesson of all was the basic trust that he could learn.

She picked up the stout and took a sip. It slid down her throat like silk.

The quality I most admire in a man is steadfastness.

Harmonising your biological rhythms with the rhythms of nature minimises entropy and reverses aging.

Pray that I may be very little in my own eyes, and not rob my dear Master of any part of his glory.

INTENTIONS + ACTION = WILL

I'm not interested in people positioning me next to other artists.

People who are anxious to bring on war don't know what they are bargaining for; they don't see all the horrors that must accompany such an event.