When a woman talks, she just wants to be heard.

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

We hope that, when the insects take over the world, they will remember with gratitude how we took them along on all our picnics.

The eagle may soar; beavers build dams.

The US has not imposed democracy in Yemen, its people have.

The whale is endangered, while the ant continues to do just fine.

Even pearls are dark before the whiteness of his teeth.

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

Now that women are jockeys, baseball umpires, atomic scientists, and business executives, maybe someday they can master parallel parking.

The government is shutting down the coal industry, they say it's cheaper to draw nuclear power off the French grid and cheaper to buy coal from Colombia.

Your mental attitudes are the parents of your life's outcomes.

An evergreen flower is never scared of the upcoming fall.

Cheer up the worst is yet to come.

Tis the final conflict! Let each stand in his place! The international working class shall be the human race!

People don't know exactly what I do they just know I'm 'cool.'

And this is a grave responsibility, projected from within each of us, not to settle for the convenient, the shoddy, the conventionally expected, nor the merely safe.

You don't control whether your movies get made. You can't. All you can control is whether your draft is great. So, you write your great draft, as best as you can, and then move on to the next thing.

I do some of my best stand-up comedy during sound checks.

Jordie Bellaire knows how to tell a story with color.

The only true corrective of Constitutional abuses is education.