When all else failed, she tried being reasonable.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

An idea is a mental spark, a mindset is a mental inferno

Madness. That’s what it was. And I could no longer contain it.

Revealed religion is one thing, revealed legislation, another.

While we got hotter and thirstier as the heat beat down on us. The somebody would call in a voice full of elation

And it is not necessary to have great things to do. I turn my little omelette in the pan for the love of God.

When you take a woman away from her man, what you get is a woman who can be taken away from her man.

You just have to keep plugging away and if you get lucky enough to get a job, you get one.

...William wondered why he always disliked people who said 'no offense meant.' Maybe it was because they found it easier to to say 'no offense meant' than actually to refrain from giving offense.

The world would use us just as it did the martyrs, if we loved God as they did.